Are you harboring a huge crush on a girl in your class but you’re afraid to break the ice? Let me guess, all you’ve done so far is walk by her thinking you will definitely ask her out this time but the second you make eye contact, your legs turn to jelly and you start mumbling gibberish. If the previous sentence describes you, then you better take action. We all have been there at some point in our lives and trust me when I say it’s completely normal.
Approaching a girl in class is a really simple thing to do but we tend to complicate matters to the point where they turn into rocket science. So, leave your fear of being friend zoned at the door and follow these 7 easy steps to approach a girl in class:
Step 1: Test the waters
First things first, try not to be a creep! That’s the last thing you wanna do. You can start with eye contact, of course, but try not to stare at her in a way that will disgust her. Don’t check her out from head to toe as that is a surefire way of making your crush run in the other direction. Instead, look into her eyes and see if she smiles or stares back at you (both of which are positive signs).
Step 2: Be a fearless warrior
Before you strike up a conversation, get the fear of rejection out of your head because it will only make the approaching harder. If you want to successfully impress your crush and sweep her off her feet, be confident and fearless.
Step 3: Get spruced up
Girls usually like well groomed guys, so take the time to get ready for the big day. Wear something decent and be smart and tidy. Style your hair and check yourself out from head to toe. You need to be looking dapper so polish your shoes and remember, girls notice every little change.
Step 4: Initiate the conversation
You have to understand that a girl is also a person just like you and that she has her own emotions and personality. In fact, she’s probably just as nervous as you. So, the key here is to relax and make her feel at ease. It’ll be much easier to carry out the conversation if she has her guard down.
If and when she is free, ask her something related to the class, schedule, lecturer or homework. Sure, it’s just smalltalk but she will definitely reply and maybe even share some of her thoughts with you. Listen to her carefully and follow up with a remark or a question. It’ll show that you are listening with all your intent. During the conversation, notice for signs. If she is smiling and enjoying your company or she is giving you all her attention then she is into you.
Don’t get scared and worried that you’re doing something wrong. Think about it logically: you are just getting to know a girl; she is just a person and not a monster who’s going to eat you. So, relax. Moreover, confidence is sexy. Girls don’t get turned on by guys who lack confidence. Before approaching her, gather all your courage and be confident about what you are going to say and do. How confident you are while talking matters the most, even more than what you say. Don’t worry about the topic of conversation, just talk with conviction.
Step 5: It’s not all about you
Another mistake that guys make is talk about themselves throughout the conversation. Avoid doing that at all costs. Period. Let her talk about her interests and her likes and dislikes. You have approached her to get to know her, not the other way around. You don’t want to bore her with stories about your achievements and the medals you’ve won doing this and that. It’s not really about letting her dominate the conversation, but rather making it a two way exchange in which you both learn new things about each other.
Step 6: Avoid the friend zone
While you are at it, your aim should be to avoid the friend zone minefield at all costs. How? Don’t be shy and innocent. Confidence is key. You shouldn’t try to hide your main intention – to date – from your crush. Or else she will end up seeing you as a good friend who doesn’t intend to date her. Also, keep in mind that getting approached is flattering. Every girl likes it (and they’re extremely good at hiding their emotions), so there’s no reason to hide the fact that you are talking to her for a date. The worst that can happen is that she will reject your proposal but that’s better than not trying at all, right?
Step 7: Wrap it up
Lastly, when it is time for you to end the conversation, say something positive about her. Compliment her (not her physical appearance but her opinions and the way she perceives things). Say something like “It was great talking to you” .
Then say something that will create an opportunity to meet and talk to her again. You can say “So, when can we do this again? OR “Are you free tomorrow after class?”. Showing that you are interested is crucial as it will determine whether you end up in the friend zone or whether she considers you to be dating material.
Keep the approach short and sweet. Once you have gotten to know her and made sure that she is going to meet you again later, part ways by saying something like “I need to meet my friends, they are waiting” or “I’ve got another class, talk to you later”. This shows you have a life of your own and that you’re not perpetually stalking her.
When you meet her next time make sure to drop hints that you like her. When you’re completely sure she’s comfortable around you, compliment her appearance. Most importantly, strive to know more about her. You will automatically know (and she will hint as well) when to ask her out on a date.
Believe in yourself, use your intellect and she’ll be yours in no time!